just like that

It is 'the time' of the year for all the people trying to get into an elite institute to pursue their MBA. I just went back a year in time and looked at the interviews I had atteneded. Some of them seem pretty funny right now and so here we go.

IIM Indore Interview

Panel: You said your father works in Sundaram Finance Ltd. Can you tell me who the chairman of that company is?
Myself (mentally): What sort of a question is that?
Myself: No sir, I am not aware of it.

Panel: Do you know what Sundaram fasteners produce?
Myself (mentally): For Heaven's sake, what is wrong with you people?
Myself: I am not sure, sir. I think they produce the fastening materials (What a brilliant answer!!!) for nuts and bolts.

Panel (mentally): This guy is clearly dumb!
Panel: Nuts and Bolts???
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
P: Do you now what is Bluetooth?
M: It is basically a wireless system confined to a limited area with high quality transmission and reception.

P: What is the difference between ordinary wireless and Bluetooth?
M: ???!!???

P: OK, tell me why is reception quality better in FM compared to AM?
M: Sir, in FM, the frequency is modulated whereas in AM the amplitude is modulated (Nobody in this world knew about this before!!). Since noise basically occurs more when there are variations in amplitude, noise is less in FM.

P: No but why is the noise less there?
M: (ok u asked for it! Come on start!) If you consider AM, the carrier signal is modulated w.r.t. amplitude and during transmission noise can enter at various spikes and troughs. Whereas in FM the amplitude is constant. This is the reason noise is less.

P: (How the hell did he pass his engineering?) Ok, can you at least draw me the waveforms of AM and FM?

After struggling for 5 minutes, I draw two waveforms that can be accepted by half-asleep people as AM and FM waves. After seeing that, the panel decides that if they continue to ask in electronics, they will forget whatever little they know of it.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
P: Ok, so you come from Chennai. Which major foreign companies have set up plants there?
M: (Aah! Finally something I can answer.) Hyundai, Ford…

P: Have they set up plant in Chennai or in outskirts of Chennai?
M: (oh! shit, these guys seem to know everything)On the outskirts of Chennai, sir.

P: You have heard of Maraimalai Nagar?
M: Yes, sir.

P: Which company has its plant there?
M: (Inky Pinky Ponky…) Hyundai.

P: Really?!? Who has set up plant in Sriperambadur?
M: (By this time I realize that they already have found out that I don't know anything and were simply playing around.) No, sir. I don’t know!


P: Why does the city have its name as Chennai?
M: (That's it man! I quit!) Well, sir, it was traditionally called Madras. But people wanted a Tamil name to give an identity. So probably they gave the name Chennai.

P: No, but why was the name Chennai given?
M:(After thinking for about 30 secs) No sir… No idea.

P: OK, what other calls you have?
M: Calcutta, sir.

P: Best of luck for that Interview. (This is anyways gone! Atleast do that properly) You can leave now!
M: Thank you, sir. It was a pleasure meeting you all. (A pleasure I hope I will never have again)

P: (I’m not sure whether you will get an other opportunity)

Post-mortem:
Chennai is called so because the city was sold to the British by a king called Chennapanayakkar. Ford has its plant in Maraimalai Nagar and Hyundai has it in Sriperambadur. And I am still trying to find out why the noise is less in FM.


IIM Calcutta Interview

P: Mr. Vimal, you are working in Polaris. What exactly is your work there?
M: Well, sir, basically speaking, we are concerned with the clearing house operations of Citibank... (Give a huge Build-up)... ... ... So, that's what we do.

P: OK. What is the system that the RBI has to clear all the cheques in one day irrespective of the bank you deposit it in? (This was asked because during my build-up I had given some example about cheques.)
M: No sir. No idea.

P: Well that’s ok. You seem to have done your engineering from electronics and communication…
M: (If you want to commit suicide, just say...) Yes, sir.

P: Did you have telecommunication as a subject?
M: (I thought of telling no – In fact that is what I would have told to half the subjects - then I remembered that my mark-sheets were right across the table. So My answer changed to) Of course, sir.

P: what are the two mobile technologies available?
M: I think they are CDMA and GSM. (I later found out I was correct)

P: From user point of view, what are the differences between the two?
M: Well sir, (whenever I begin with a "Well, sir" it only means one thing: Nobody in the world will ever understand what I am going to say because basically I myself don’t know what I am going to speak) CDMA will provide... ... ... whereas GSM can only provide... ... ...

P: (How the hell did he pass his engineering?) (Getting nostalgic..? Stay tight. The real fun starts now!) Will my SIM card work if I remove it from one CDMA mobile and put it in another?

M: (Poor guy - He doesn’t even know this!) Of course, sir. No problems!!!

The rest of the interview was just vindication of the opinion you people by know have in your mind.

Post-mortem: CDMA MOBILES DON’T HAVE A SIM CARD.
ANYONE STARTING A MGMT SCHOOL ANYWHERE - JUST GET ME A SEAT THERE!